How Will Director Bring Olympics To Boyle?

Film director Danny Boyle has been chosen as the artistic director for the 2012 London Olympics opening ceremony. The British Oscar winner now has the daunting task of following the spectacular opener of the 2008 games in Beijing. So what can we expect for the grand opening of the games? Well, if any of Boyle’s film projects are anything to go by, here are some predictions…

· A well known sporting star dives into a giant toilet to retrieve the Olympic torch. Then once he has lit it, he uses the flame to cook up some heroin on a giant spoon before sharing it around the stadium. (Trainspotting, 1996)

· The British Olympic team are handed a map to the stadium by a crazy guy who then kills himself. They then run to the stadium in the style of a video game. Girl group All Saints also reform for the occasion and perform ‘Pure Shores’. (The Beach, 2000)

· Britain’s Olympic squad walks through a deserted London in hospital gowns. They reach the stadium to discover that all of the other country’s teams are zombies. They are then chased around the stadium for 28 minutes, trying to avoid being bitten. (28 Days Later, 2002)

· A massive bag of money is thrown into the stadium and the athletes begin to hand out the cash to the audience. The audience are then forced to use the Olympic torch to burn all of the money. (Millions, 2004)

· The Olympic flame is extinguished and a sporting personality must reignite it. However, the person who ignited it last year has returned to try to prevent them from carrying out their mission. A fight ensues and the torch is eventually lit but both of them die in the flames. (Sunshine, 2007)

· A sports star must beg on the streets of London before entering the Olympic stadium and answering a series of multiple choice questions linked to their adventures. They are then reunited with a childhood sweetheart and launch into a bollywood dance routine. (Slumdog Millionaire, 2008)