Snow Pleasing Some People

‘Snow Chaos’. That was the headline that greeted me as I woke up to a sparkling carpet, whiter than Simon Cowell’s teeth, outside my bedroom window. Despite legally being classed an ‘adult’, I still get that child-like excitement when it snows. The urge to dash outside and build a snowman or have a snowball fight is always too great to resist.

Snow manages to make everything look beautiful. It’s a natural Tipex covering the country to ‘correct’ all those ugly mistakes. Even the most run-down areas of town are transformed to look like a magical winter wonderland. I almost expect Aslan to wander out of Lidl.

Yet it seems others don’t share my positive mental attitude. Each year everyone hopes and prays for a white Christmas. The kind that Bing Crosby sings about and is depicted on the mounds of Christmas cards sent and received during the advent period. Yet when our prayers are answered, all we do is moan. We Brits are never happy. When it’s hot, it’s too hot. When it rains, it’s too wet. When it doesn’t rain, we complain about hosepipe bans.

One simple change in temperature manages to bring the entire country’s transport network to a standstill. Countries such as Canada must be laughing at us - they deal with several feet of snow for months on end without so much as a whimper.

Yet here in the UK there are women on the news actually breaking down in tears because they can’t get to work in the snow. The day you wake up to discover that it has snowed and your first reaction is ‘damn, this is going to cause some traffic jams’ is the day you need to subscribe to Grumpy Old Git Weekly.

What happened to the good ol’ days when snow meant a day off work or school? If it isn’t traffic troubles, its old people slipping over on icy pavements or heating systems breaking down. Now everyone is panicking because we are running low on salt. Who would have thought the humble fish ‘n chip shop could turn out to be our saviour?

It’s time for a revolution. Forget going to work or school. Everyone should put on their winter coats, go outside into their gardens, driveways, local parks or even just the pavement outside their house, lie down in the snow and make a snow angel. I defy anyone not to feel instantly happier.